what's up, so far

fast forward to our 10th day in Edinburgh, that we finally have settled down while unpacking all those sambals and serundings we brought all the way from home. the fun fact is that me myself also brought 1.5kg of sambal hitam pahang, hope for it to be enough till the 10 months end. it's.... really a long way to go. 

one thing about UK that I found to be different I must say is their service product. IDK if that's to be considered just the English way of working when everything should be done in just proper way. and since my glasses had broken while I had no other choice but to make a new one here; I opted to make an eye test beforehand. while back at home, we can just walk in to the optic store and get into the process instantly; it's different here in UK. first of all, i may need to book an appointment (the eye test session), either by online booking and walk-in booking. during the appointment (this amazes me, somehow) that their eye test is just overall more thorough and detailed, they even had to capture the backside of my eyeball as part of process. It took me an hour or more for it to be done, it was a long process but I extremely amazed with the result however. it's like making glasses is a crucial health product so the process could be very detailed before reaching to full diagnosis of patient's eye condition. 

not to mention, their banking process. setting up a bank account has never been tougher, in UK. as told, I may need to walk in to the physical bank to make my appointment booking beforehand. so basically, UK's service product is taken seriously and in very very proper way (read: can't it just be easier). i am... not complaining (disclaimer) however, I am mostly impressed somehow with how things are done differently here. i found it to be unique, yes.  

since we only have two classes in a week, we spent most of the time exploring Edinburgh; visiting the tourist attraction and treating Princes Street like our second home as there wasn't a single day we hadn't visited Princes Street. It just the interchanging place to another place in Edinburgh. 

here are some photos at Royal Botanical Garden, Edinburgh; took 2 buses from Clermiston Road. 

till then. 

hello Edinburgh!

Hello, Edinburgh! We finally met in person. 

You have always been my dream since ever. Now that we first met each other, I have fallen in love with every part of you, your people and the scenery you offer me. For upcoming 10months, I'm feeling you lively and that you are no longer a dream. Now, a reality. Allah has definitely granted my Dua'. Syukur. 

It was such long hours of journey. We made through the 14 hours flight from KUL to Doha and then finally Edinburgh. It was exciting yet tiring journey as the flight given was packed that I broke my glasses while on the way to toilet, just on the first 7hours of flight. I mustn't that lucky that day. 

We arrived just at the right time when the city has just started their day as early as 7am in the morning. My first view was Costa, and of course I was excited as the last time I had Costa was a cup of latte processed from machine back in Malaysia. This time, it's one lively man-made coffee. 


Let's start my journey to Edinburgh with my deep insecurity as we hadn't secured any homes just yet, we were gambling over limited homes around Edinburgh. Was also in a great opportunity cost, either want to pay less but being far from the uni, or having it less with the offer of unfurnished ones, also paying little bit more with better spacious for house that could cater 5 girls in one place. That was hard, with no phone numbers, no account numbers and just 10days of booked Airbnb; life was terribly unexpected for 10days to come after we first arrived. 

but Allah has eased our journey in a way I have never expected. Edinburgh did welcome us with the warmest greeting ever, that the host of our Airbnb; Geoffrey is very kind at heart that he offered us to just rent the Airbnb we are staying and make it our home for 10 months! and I tell you, we pay below the average rate while having the home too perfect in every aspect. Allah bless. Our Airbnb is just in his house compound which is perfect; it's like you are being taken care of by the local! 

The only opportunity cost now is that, we have to take two buses to University which located in Riccarton.  In average of 30 to 40 minutes from Clermiston Road to get to the campus, I think that is more than enough. I am sufficed. The first bus would stop at the Haymarket just nearby the city centre and then, to Riccarton (read: everyday is a shopping day) 

Talking about food, I think searching for halal food isn't that hard. You can but I won't suggest. Halal food is more pricey and doesn't satisfy my taste bud while I am not even picky when it comes to food.  Grocery shopping is way cheaper here that it'd more preferable to just cook and eat. I never enjoyed home-cooked meal than I am now. Hope to polish everyone's cooking skill while we are here!

The weather is colder than any place in UK I think, though it's still Autumn but we need to sometimes wear 2 to 3 pieces to suit the 11 degree of celsius. Or maybe that's just my Asian skin. 

The best part of all I think, it's our school schedule that we only have 2-days of classes in a week! ...and the rest of the week... well, you know what to do. how to spend... (travelling over the weekend!)

Everything here in Edinburgh is just right so far, we managed to settle one by one with the help of those kind souls. while Allah ease this journey to the end. to more stories in the upcoming 10 months. 

till then, 

Edinburgh- New Town

Edinburgh- Coates

Edinburgh- West End

Edinburgh- The Canongate

and to a great first semester of our final year, 

While waiting for the bus to Riccarton

@Heriot Watt University, Edinburgh. 


"Now that, you are really living your dream."

Someone said to me, and I realised shit just got real and in few days to come, I'll be living my dream (for real). But I am not sure as if it is ever what I've always wanted; to have everything into place again and to feel good and whole again. Is that real good one thing to happen? Would that ever be my dream, to have my dream realised into one freaking reality? I don't think, I ever even have thought this could be this far. I am not sure, if I ever ready to wake up and live my dream. 

Honestly I didn't feel a thing when I received the recent result. I didn't feel a thing when I sit my IELTS exam weeks ago and even passed it well. Even the day I got my visa handed over to me, I didn't feel a thing. But, I started to feel a thing when everyone has started to give attention. When everyone who has been with me, started to dream my dream and cherished my achievement like theirs. Some just shed tears while instantly say "finally, Auni" (it could both sound sarcastic and melancholic to me personally) but they were also those who never know my story now started to listen more and feel more.

That is just an overwhelming August; at least to me. 

I worried for Ma honestly, I worried for this family. There were things happened in a way, some were just too hurtful to bear but I forced myself to only see good and not to think too much. I couldn't think anymore better timing than this one. Allah knows better, and His plans are the best than of all mine.

While in the process of getting to settle everything, Abah is incapable to walk for weeks starting July to this day that he's still recovering. It reminded me of last 4 years when I was about to accept an offer going to Jordan, Abah was there all around. He was the most excited one that he was with me all the way to settle every document but never this time. the moment I broke the news that I was accepting the offer to UK and not Jordan, I could see clearly his disappointment like how he has put extra effort to have best for his daughter but I rejected the offer just like that, without even considering his thought. This time, as I was in this process alone I couldn't stop comparing how less stressful things could be if Abah could be as much as helpful like he was. Not that I am complaining but sometimes I wished I was still that little girl who need to be spoon-fed and be helped all times. 


Sometimes, I do think that I gave too many fucks in flying, I gave too many fucks in getting what I want. I was being too demanding and strict for my future me, I want just whatever I want. I forgot meaning, I forgot the purpose of how the dream even exist in the first place. I imagined of too many good things, I forgot the hard and difficult process getting through it. 

yet, until life slapped me once. Two years ago;  it was like as I was being reminded that at some point of life you gotta get what you need first in order to get what you want. 

and girl, you are too young and too dumb to think that all things are that easy. It was not. 

And life isn't just about all good things, your dreams and your lively craps that the plan you made is what made you-- YOU. Instead, it's when everything just fall out of place, and you would think as if you just lost the control, and you decide to let God in charge your life while you don't lose the courage to make things right again, that's when life fall into more bigger meanings -- while it making you: the better YOU. 

However, let's face the fact I am going to Edinburgh in two days. At least that's my deal for now. But I am not sure of so many things (too), we haven't secured any homes yet, my dissertation is being procrastinated while I am in hard and long think how do I spend entire one year wisely and in full productivity. Seriously, how. and then, come back for good. 

But I won't give too many fuck, anymore. I'll just do what it takes, I'll just do whatever that is required. While enjoying each moments, to the best. 

At this point, I aspire to get just the best in everything that offer chances. 

We'll see.

Let's take a moment, however to address my full gratitude to those who have been with me all around to this point of where I am standing.

Finally, Auni. 

the obliterated April

today is April 1 and,

that day was on April.