between the lines; read

When we met, the condition was perfect, it wasn’t raining but the sun was shy, it wasn’t cloudy but fucking bears could’ve bounced around playing hide and seek, the temperature gave me the same feeling when facing you to those post coital cigarettes, it was real but yet bizarre, the condition was perfect and that was when we met. Your endless consumptions of cigarettes in a minutely basis was the perfect example to justify how perfect our love story was that day. You were perfect and me as well; we both two doves who were crazily amazed with how fate has joined us into one line. We were drived with our cray cray uncontrollable amazement that we just crossed the line without bothering the look people would gave, the judgement people would thrown us. We both were perfect with our insanely unlogical love tale we created. 

Your eyes, they reminded me of the African savannah and as I travel through it I reached your heart and in your heart the wild fucking animals are fucking racing, like pros, I was staring. Your timing was perfect, you felt I was staring and your eyes, your sorrow wandering eyes, they caught my eyes, we froze, we stood there like statues made of clay, meant to be stoic. It was so dramatic. Dramatic as hell, we promised. The promise that we knew might take years even decades but just as long as it included you and me; we know well we'll be just fine. Fuck the timing, fuck everything; you loved me you said. I believed too, I believed every of your words slipped out of your tongue. Coz i know, I know for God's sake you were telling truth. The undeniable true of truth in the name of your Godly life's policy of "I am a man with words".

When our retinal coordination fell into place. I felt you were looking right through me. It was painful yet delightful, wrong, yet, well wrong wass good, felt as if my soul was pierced with inanimate stuff like the freakin TV with all its HD wonders which works the same like those horse tranquilisers just to be specific.  It was so eclectic, I’m sorry, electric. You are electric. Electric that forced me to do something that never was never in my to-do list ever, but I did. I did despite my shy shy cat natural behavior, I showed you what I could offer as a very good and loyal young lover. Oh that moment was the fantastic one I fall for you everytime we had times together. I know at that moment, you were meant for my entire life. 

Until one day, one day with so unpredictable movement of yours, you were about to opening your mouth. You asked me so politely that no guys ever did that ; "why you chose me" and me ; just another innocent girl trapped in this game of nonsense trying to excel every criteria of a good lover I suggested a line that without me realizing that was actually a bomb. The sadist one. We promised for an unknown limited time. I was in puzzle but fuck puzzle I was up for any challenges this game could offer. I waited. I waited for days, weeks and months. Boy i was right about everything , about everything but not you. I was the only one who believed in time. I travelled through time to a fake soul who never intended to be in the spot in the first place. 

Boy boy, listen, fate always has its little joke. 

Just like how things work in the universe, the logical sequence of events, the chain of causality, it was predictable, it made sense, you came again. After so fucking long and tiring timing you gave, we locked a day. No you lied. You didn't. I came with this shameless full thick face of mine; I came to justify your fucking sins towards this innocent soul of mine. I requested a time ; might be the final last one and we needed to then say something, fuck just say anything, and that is when I saw your mouth started coordinating movements through words on the worthless tech-advanced of whatsapp I noticed your "typing"  but my focus was the reply so fuck your reply. I imagined your words, your lovable worlds just like the old times. Your new number with a new profile picture; it wanted to say something, of course it wanted to, would I understand? I didn’t think it mattered but I did understand, that was when you said,

“I don't deserve you" 

That's when the sequel stopped; you know it's all a tale told. Fuck a tale. 

And fuck you, too. 

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