Hal orang yang bermurah hati

Hal orang yang bermurah hati adalah apabila buku kegemaran telah dan sudah diberi orang
Yang tinggal hanya sekotak koleksi buku terbuang yang tak pernah mahu di jamah dan di-terjemah
Lalu, mana mahu dicari satu lagi.

Hal orang yang bermurah hati itu tegang
Bila mencintai tapi harus terus dan selalu memberi
Sampai saat habis dirinya di-bagi

Untuk orang-orang yang tak mudah tahu menghargai

Hal orang yang bermurah hati memang pantas dikasihani

Kerana salah mereka cuma menjadi terlalu mudah dalam segala hal

Baik dalam hal memberi

Malah hal mencintai

Satu-satunya alasan agar terus dilihat baik

--dan baik
Sampaikan alasan disisih orang juga

 hanya kerana--"kau terlalu baik" 

Behind the perfect shaylaa and her long abaya

Behind the perfect shaylaa and her long abaya, was a soul that has always wanted to be nearer to her religion and God. Who was a lifetime runner towards her Creator.
Nothing could define her soul, nor her appearence, nor the way she talks.
Because, despite her perfect shaylaa and her long abaya; 

She was never been; One thing. Like so. 

that day i started running

i gained weights recently, purposely I guess. But I didn't care much about how some kg(s) could define me. Despite, I was looking for something new that would, in some ways, keeping me busy.

Remember when the old friend of mine bought me a book by Murakami on ; "What I talk about when I talk about running"

Oh yea, the fun of running does really amaze me; eternally. Just exactly like how Murakami has described in the book. The tiredness, the amazement, the mindless thinking and all; I agreed that all were just real.

While running, it was like; I was running from everything. From all that has been in my mind, from those souls that keep haunting me through days and months until one moment when it was like I was really flying, through the movement of air that was against me.

I was exaggerating, but some were truth, really. 


On the first night, (yes i was running at night) around 10pm, it was raining lightly that day. there were some people who were also running by that time. we took our spot starting exactly from istana kehakiman and onwards. One thing about running that kept me awake while moving was that; I passed everything around me. 

You know when you are the only one that moving and everything around has been static. It was undescribable thinking running in my mind; like I was flying but actually not.

And then when I stopped, I would breathe heavily like a definite satisfaction kind of breathing. 

I wasnt running like jogging, I literally running as you can see. That's the fun, I guess. 

So far, it has been 4times altogether, but I dreamt of running more often. More often until I forget what it feels like walking. 

Like Forest Gump. 

I'm joking, technically. 

Till then. 

A beautiful paradox

It was raining outside, like cats and dogs. Too cold, she decided to brew a hot cup of tea; the plain one with two small spoons of a natural sugar added. This night isn't about poetry or sad song anymore. She listened to live concert instead. With hard core sounds of drums and loud musical instrument at the background of the MV. Life sure was fascinating to her, because it wasn't all about lullabies and slow melody songs. It was indeed a combination of so many genres for all kinds of souls ever there were. She just wanted to be loud and fast this time; just like the song she hears. You see, this is what she likes most about life. Of its ever changing season, and the continuous movement of it.

And problems wouldn't stay forever, as time passess by, the problem fades away.

Of so many people who asked her to "move on" as soon as possible; she then decided to digress. It's not easy; she said. 

It's not easy to forgive then forget. It's not easy to adore the beautifulness of someone and then deny them with hatred and anger. It's not easy to dream about something you think you could have or maybe you already had it in the dream, and then reality just punch your face departing you from dreaming some more. It's not easy. 

There would be a time when even your pessimistic side disappears and asking you to remember those souls who have hurt you. And then your nice being come out justifying some reasons for you to really lower down your pride and let go everything like nothing have happened. They asked you to stop being so sensitive just accept that some people actually did make mistake. If that time ever come, don't look back. 

Don't look back.

Just don't. 

For him who left; she missed you. So much that she was dying.
But she didn't want you back.

She has accepted this beautiful paradox as a part of her growing up wiser and better.